My name is Finicky “Flagpole”  Mascio.  I was born on May 15, 1990.  The day after my master started working at Convex Computer Corp.  (Now known as the Convex Technology Center of HP)  I was given the nickname “Flagpole” by my Grandpa Mascio, because my tail is always straight up in the air!

I’m the Queen of the house, and ruler of all I survey.  Bandit (The Usurper) and I decided to “politely” inform John of his oversight in “his” web pages.  Since John has lived with so many of our Kind over the years, he has gotten fairly proficient, as humans go, in our language.  But, unfortunately, so many of the other Cats were negligent in their duties in training him, that he often thinks HE runs the household.  We are now working on training his wife, Charrie.  One of the few humans with a name that is almost worthy of being a Cat Name.  Bandit, by virtue of being a kitten, has sunk His claws in her, so to speak, and is slowly working on getting her trained.  He started with simple requests, like wanting in the entryway closet.  She has proven to be quite trainable, and We have her to the point that she gives Us tuna at their dinner time.  We did that to allow her to think she was being nice to Us.  You humans have such delicate egos.  If you would just get rid of them, We could train you so much easier.

I’ll let you in on a secret, you know how We are often fabled with nine lives?  Well, it is true.  Only it is due to the fact We have nine – separate – lives.  You humans, in your limited way, would refer to it as reincarnation, but in reality, it is more of a different form of conscienceness.  Our conscienceness is passed from Cat to Kitten, in a pattern that only the Goddess Bast (as you know Her) knows.  Unfortunately, you portray Her in the crass likeness of a human body with a Cat’s Head, but then, I guess that is due to your limited perceptions of the Universe.

Anyway, I digress from My point: Our conscienceness is passed from Cat to Kitten nine times.  We regain Our full memories upon adulthood, about 1.5 – 2 of your years.  Upon the end of Our ninth life, we merge in to the Unified Feline Conscience, and help Our still developing Brothers, Sisters,  and yes, you poor humans.  Just think where you would be if it was not for Our adopting you, and attempting to guide you in to a better state of being.  BTW: This is My second life.  The first was with John also.  He showed some promise in My first life, so Bast the Merciful allowed Me to return and continue working on him.

Anyway, if I decide to share any more of Our Secrets, I’ll have John or Charrie transcribe them for your edification.

Until then …

Finicky – 8/19/97

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